Over a week has past since everything has gone back to normal. Kids are back in school, everyone is getting over the jet lag, dirty clothes are now clean, bills are paid, house is getting everyday messy... I told myself to deal with my situation regarding the denial to entry the US when I got back home, but I still feel so offended and hurt by the whole situation that I have done my best to avoid it... I'm still in shock over what happened I think. Here is the story.
When me and my kids came to Stockholm airport on the 29th of December to check in on our flight to Miami via Zurich, we bumped into problems. I thought I had all my documents in order, had double checked over and over again, but once there I was informed there was one document missing. An ESTA document, an Electronic Travel Authorization who allows you to travel on the Visa Waiver Program to the USA. I had no idea... I was told I could apply online on the airports public computer. We had lots of time as we arrived a good 2 and a half hours before the flight departed and I took a deep breath and thought
"Ok - we can do this."
It wasn't easy. The computer kept on shutting down half way through the process and in the end I had to do it all over the phone with my brother's wife on her lap top at home. It took a good hour and half to fill out all the forms. And then we had to wait for approval... When there was 40 minutes left before departure I started to realize that this is not going to end well... I asked to cut the line and went up to talk to the lady at check-in, explained my situation and begged her to call the gate to hold the plane for us. I mean we were just waiting for that confirmation to come in with a
"Ping!". She called the gate, but it was to late. We had missed the flight. It was devastating... I fell apart, seriously...
What next? Book a new flight? Will we have time to catch the connection flight in Zurich now? Soon after, the
"Ping!" that we were waiting for came in. Everyone approved. Part from me who was denied entry to the US. No reason. Just a big fat NOT APPROVED! I couldn't go. Now the situation really turned bad. I fell apart, again...
Jay was sleeping in Miami with his phone turned off, unaware of the situation. I started to make phone calls to try and resolve the situation. Talked to the Embassy, US Immigration, where we had bought the tickets... No luck.
No one could say why this happened. No one could help. What
could I do?
I decided to send the kids on their own, I mean this was THE TRIP we've been waiting for so long. Saved up for. The kids were overly excited to meet uncles and aunts, cousins and grand parents. Family. On the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Their roots. Their blood. I could care less about the Bahamas cruise or the shopping in Miami. But to not be able to take part of the celebration of Grandma Flora turning 100 really felt unfair. And to be taken away the opportunity of watching my husband laughing together with his brothers and sister going down memory lane... that still makes my heart ache. When will I ever get the chance to experience that if not now??? When will we ever be all in one place, together and feeling the joy of belonging to the same family tree? Ever? There were family members flying in from near and far, finding space in their chuck full agendas, taking time off work, saving up money for endless months, if not years, to do this... But I was told that we had lost all the tickets as we had booked them all at once on the same booking number... the devastation just continued. All tickets? We can't even use the return tickets?
Once Jay woke up in Miami and heard the story, he got into action mode. He managed to change the tickets for the kids and with the documented proof of why we had missed the flight we could re-book all lost tickets with just a small additional fee to pay. Now the kids could go. Tickets were held for me and I had 48 hours to get my entry docs in order. I called my brother, who arrived to the airport like Superman with his big arms holding me tight while I cried myself out for a minute or two. He had just thrown his boys in the car, half dressed still in their pj's, to go and get me. He made yellow pea soup and pancakes for everyone and made sure we all had something to eat. After all, we had been up since 5am... I spent the afternoon on the phone trying to get some answers and arrange my documents... No luck.
The next morning I waved off the kids at the airport with a flight assistant taking over the holding hands through security and off to the gate. I had to stay at the airport until they had taken off, and found a café with panorama windows towards the boarding ramps where I could watch the airplane tax out. The kids pulled the window shutter up an down so I could see where they were sitting, 7 seats behind the wing. Nelly sent me a text asking me to wave so they could see me at the window. I waved my arms so big you would think I was waving for rescue. But they did see me. People around me probably stared at this middle age woman waving her arms like crazy with tears streaming down her face. I don't know, I didn't notice my surroundings... I remember thinking that IF something bad happens now, I will loose all three... I will never be able to live with that...
Well, my kids did get to Miami safe and sound. Jay picked them up at the airport. They had a WONDERFUL time. They went on the cruise to Bahamas and sang Happy Birthday to 100 year old Grandma Flora. They met their cousins, uncles and aunts... They did it all, everything we had planned for. I hung out with friends and family, trying to make the best out of my unplanned solitude in Sweden, feeling a bit lost in the situation but I had a good time considering the circumstances. Now we are all reunited and many great stories has been shared. Photos. Laughter. Hugs and cuddles. It all turned out pretty well in the end. But...
The problem remains. I'm still banned to cross the US border and I still don't know why. I've already spoken to half a dozen different instances, but all I hear is that if I ever want to enter the US I will have to apply for a Tourist Visa. On the websites it says that if you've been denied entry through your ESTA application, they can NOT tell you why because of confidential reasons. Every person I've spoken to directs me to someone else, a new phone number, a new department. No one is taking responsibility to help. I want to resolve this, but I feel helpless against the system where no help is to be found. I'm married to an American since 16 years, we have 3 children. I have lived in the US, worked there with all paper work in order, I have visited the US many times after we moved to Europe and NEVER did I have any problems with the US immigration or special documents. I'm just a totally normal Swedish woman, living a normal life... Why is this happening to me? Why can't I get any answers? What did I do wrong? If I only knew...
I feel like a criminal. I feel mistreated, helpless and
very very hurt. I feel violated. I don't know how else to describe it. It just kind of hurts inside, in solar plexus when I think of it all... I'm probably the biggest victim here in this story, but this has been a traumatic experience for my kids as well. It is just not fair to put people through this type of distress and treatment without a reason. It is not correct to deny someone entry to the US without explaining why, without giving this person a chance to understand and be able to fix what needs to be fixed. Could it be an error made while filling out the form??? Maybe I mistakenly crossed the wrong box...??? Could it be an unpaid parking ticket or bill maybe that I'm unaware of??? Could it have something to do with me leaving the US and my Green Card behind when returning to Europe. Maybe I needed to unregister or something... I don't know, and I think that is the worst part. Not knowing why I'm being treated like this.
I'm sure I will get over it eventually, but it is still so fresh in my mind. Time will heal. Hopefully I will find some clarity in this one day and just maybe I will find a way to be cleared from this injustice label of
"having unresolved issues with the US immigration", like I would be a person of a criminal act, a threat to the USA.
Thank you for listening, I needed to unload this. Process it. The drama is over and all my loved ones are here with me. That is after all the only thing that matters.
Kärlek
Annette
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