We are at the last stretch of a two week long October break. I've enjoyed it to the full. This is the
year of no plans so we've spent this school break at home. Luca Bo
(who has started his four year long apprenticeship to become an awesome
wood worker/carpenter/builder)
has been working most days as he no longer can benefit from school vacations.
I think he was a little bit upset when reality sunk in last week, being the
only one who needed to get up at dawn while the rest of us slept in. I'm so
beaming proud of my boy, who gets up at 5.30 am making himself a frothy coffee
and grilled cheese sandwich for breakfast. He prepares his lunch sandwiches
and get ready to leave the house an hour later to catch the bus before sun
comes up. All by himself. As a mother with a built in supervising radar, I
usually wake up about the same just to make sure he is up
(without him even knowing... I just put my "Mama elephant ears" into
practice and listen for noise from his bedroom or the kitchen and as soon as
I hear him I turn around and fall back asleep...)
and not one single time has he overslept. In fact, he has never ever missed a
school bus or been late for school in his whole life. That is more than I can
say about myself...
While Luca Bo has been working - learning how to set a tile floor, renovate a
wooden chair and build a door
(I love love LOVE that he has chosen this professional route, it is so
him!!!)
- the rest of us have had sleep in mornings and little on our agendas. As I
work at an International school as an After School Carer, I have school break
too and I've made the most of it by diving back into my crochet hobby. I've
spent lots of time making slow but satisfying progress on my, for the moment,
three WiP's:
• The Blanket Of Hope to stay sane
• The Cluster V-stitch baby blanket for unknown baby
• Some Thermal stitch potholders for my home
The weekend gave us fabulous autumn weather with crisp fresh air and sunshine.
I decided to tidy up the shed, which was a complete disaster... Some of you
might have seen it on my Instagram @myrosevalley. It was one of those
spontaneous projects that you start on a whim with great enthusiasm and after
10 minutes you ask yourself: "Why on earth did I start this???" I stuck
it through, dragged everything out, swept the floor, cleaned up all the mice
poop, spider webs and dead bugs. Sorted, cleaned and re-arranged. I put up a
number of big nails on the wooden walls to hang things. When all was done I
was so chuffed with the result that I had to show it to every family member
and get praised for my efforts (like a child... I know...)
"Oh Mama, you've done so well. It looks great. Bravo!!!" Bless my
children for knowing I need praise just as much as they do.
On Sunday Jay and I took a long walk chatting about future plans. As a couple
in our early 50's and with only teenagers in the house nowadays
(how did that happen?), things are changing dramatically for us all and
you start to think about what is coming next... Who are we? What do we want to
do? Where are we going? As much as our youngest Emmy Bo is having a
challenging time with existential thoughts in puberty, I guess we are going
through a bit of the same thing... It's all new to us and it is a bit of
challenging times. I think they call it midlife crises...
A friend once asked me:
"Annette, you - who always are in some sort of crises - can you help me because I think I'm having a crises and I don't know how to deal with it."
"Annette, you - who always are in some sort of crises - can you help me because I think I'm having a crises and I don't know how to deal with it."
Yep, that's me. And often I've been ashamed or annoyed of being that deep
thinker, analytic person, questioning and putting to much thought into
things... It hasn't been easy, it still isn't, but it is who I am and who I've
always been. I guess you can say I've been in puberty crises, friendship
crises, being single crises, changing job crises, love crises, moving country
crises, getting married crises, becoming a mum crises, missing my home country
crises, loneliness crises, who am I crises, low self esteem crises, I'm not
good enough crises... Do you want me to go on? Crises has such a
negative sound to it though and I prefer to call all these things challenges
of life.
As we travel on this journey through life, obstacles will occur and we will
find ways to get around them. We will find solutions. And if we didn't have
these challenges that forces us to reflect upon where we are, what we are
doing and what we really want, how on earth would we be able to grow and dare
to open doors to new exciting paths that might, or might not, lead us to new
places, people and personal growth? I'm not saying that it is at all easy, but
I do believe we sometimes have to stop and reflect on which path to take
next.
So anyway, we went on this beautiful afternoon walk up the mountain above our
house and chatted lightly about this next phase in life. "The middle aged
couple with grown up kids" phase. What does that mean? I'm not sure. I can
recall so many people telling me throughout the years to really enjoy and
cherish the time I have with the kids because one day they will be big and
wanting to leave the nest... And I guess I always knew that, of course, but
even if I did it has kind of sneaked up on me. It feels like it has all
happened so suddenly. I just didn't really see
(with emphasis on that word "see"...) it coming. Now I am the one
saying the same thing to other mothers with young children. So bizarre... Time
passes so quickly without you even noticing. Today is coming to an end already
and a new day is to arise... and so life goes on. Somehow it feels like time
is passing quicker and quicker the older I get. Do you feel the same way?
At the end of the weekend I packed up my crochet, put away all my "bench time
props" and closed the now tidy and organized shed. It really was an awesome,
productive and relaxed weekend and although this week has been a bit hectic so
far, I'm still making the most out of my "staycation", focusing on what I want
to do instead of what I should do. And who knows... maybe this "staycation"
will continue for a while... I suspect a new lock down might soon be
reality... Corona is not giving in... quite the opposite.
Take care my lovelies. Stay safe. But live. Don't forget to make the most of
every day you have on this planet. And if that is making big changes, taking
action on projects or just chilling with crochet, you decide.
Kärlek
Annette
Annette
FOLLOW My Rose Valley
HERE:
I completely relate to everything you've said Annette. How did it all happen so quickly? Seems like I blinked and years have flown past. Sometimes I feel real sadness those precious times can never be relived, guilt and regret, did I enjoy them enough or was I on autopilot, exhausted and just getting through it? I try to just focus on gratitude for all the love, the memories and the fact I have been privileged to see my 3 sons grow up into fine young men x
ReplyDeleteVanessa
I so much enjoy reading your posts. Thank you for sharing. This description of yourself kind of relaxed me... I know someone who's exactly like that and I felt kind of relieved when you hear other people feeling the same things... Wishing you and your crises, the best. Evi
ReplyDeleteOh Goodness, I can relate to everything you have written today. I am almost more demanding of praise than my children when I have done a big tidy ( it's such a thankless job it does have to be pointed out!). I too am at the same stage in life, it has crept up, but now I am in the What Next? who knows. I really enjoy your blog. Im glad you are back to it , lovely to read. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely thoughtful post. I know what you mean about thinking about the next phase and making plans. Exciting times. Although there are a fair few years of schooling left, and as you say, I shall make the most of them and having the children around. Well done on the tidy shed, I know how satisfying things like that are when they're done. And I also know that feeling of 'Why did I start???' after ten minutes! Have a lovely day my friend. CJ xx
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful Luca Bo has decided to go into the woodworking trade! My son has too! Mine is still in school until June 2022 (and hating every minute of it now, as it’s all on line!) Soon he will go to learn his chosen trade. He is torn between woodworking and car engine repair. I think he likes woo the best right now. Must go now. I’m off to visit my 93 year old Aunt who is alone in her room in assisted living. She also hates this virus, staying in her room, not seeing friends unless we have an appointment. Take care, Laurel
ReplyDeleteI was lured to your post with the title... and then there was crochet too! There is always something to worry about but it is a life long challenge to make the crisis as small as possible compared to all the good stuff. Jo xxx
ReplyDeleteHi Annette, I'm enjoying reading your blog and I can relate to everything you said. Life is complex, wonderful and precious and we must really learn to appreciate every moment!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts. I am the same age bracket and you're right, it naturally brings reflection and feels like a stepping off point. Like you, I find myself looking at the next 'challenge' in a life that has seen me leaping from wobbly lily-pad challenge to wobbly lily-pad challenge and trying not to fall in. I can look back and see how very very blessed I've been and I never took anything for granted, but I do wish I could lose the permanent feeling of imminent loss or disaster that steals the joy that just accepting what 'is' could bring. Not sure I'm making sense, but suffice to say I totally identify with your path as described. May you find the smallest of sparks that excite you about the next chapter (I may try to rename challenge/crisis with this).
ReplyDeleteawesome photos!
ReplyDeleteyep, they grow up so fast & before you know it you're an empty nester! i live on my own now, have for quite a few years, it was weird, the kids took away my reason for being when they left but slowly i got back up into life again (depression is a bitch) keeping focus is the trick i think & finding a new purpose.
lovely post
thanx for sharing
I came over to your blog from Jenny of Elefantz and I love your blankets. Such gorgeous colours!
ReplyDeleteI hope you and your family are OK it's been a while since you posted but times are diffiuclt. I see so much of myself in you, I'm a really serious procrastinator now since I retired. I've tried to improve but haven't had a lot of success sadly so I decided it's less stressful to just accept what I am. I'll change what I can & that's that!
I do hope you'll start posting again soon.
Blessings to you & your family.