Monday, July 9, 2018

The good night story

So many books have been read through the years... Not so many books are being read anymore. Actually, I've forgotten a bit about the need of reading books lately and the bedtime routine has turned into just a good night kiss or snuggle.

Recently Jay laid down next to Emmy Bo to read a Good Night Story. He had been away on business trips, quite a few in a row, missing his little peeps here at home. When he returned downstairs he said:
"You know... We only have maybe a year left of this now Annette." The information hit me like a fist in my stomach. He was right. This phase is soon over.

I think this is my biggest challenge at the moment. My children are not just growing up, they are growing "away" from needs that has been routine for so many years. Mundane things that felt like a never ending cycle of obligation. All you wanted was a break from the routine, parenthood, the responsibility... just a rest... And all the women out there with older kids who said it will change, that one day you will miss all that.

I knew this was coming and still I'm so startled. It appears to be so sudden. They were just born, at least it feels like it. In pure desperation to hold on to this precious phase of parenthood, I'm reading to Emmy Bo at night. Occasionally. Because to be honest, she is now into novels like Harry Potter and she is the one reading out loud to me instead. And often I fall asleep on her pillow next to her in pure comfort from the melody of her voice, and even if we've somehow changed roles it seems, I hear myself whispering to myself: "Enjoy it while you can... Enjoy it while you can...", because I know there is just a question of time before even this role play will be over. 



Sunday, July 1, 2018

Graduation dress rehearsal

My little baby girl is not so little anymore. After months of long school days, stress, emotional breakdowns and hard work she has done it - Nelly Bo is graduating primary school after 12 years and is now ready for gymnasium.

She started on the average program after just making it through 8th grade. Once in 9th grade, she did so well that the teacher talked her into going up to the advanced program. I'm not an academic myself and neither is Jay so when Nelly Bo got the chance to shine with her academic brightness, we were all up for it. "Take your chance and see how it goes. You go girl!"

We have believed in her from day one, probably more than she ever believed in herself. It hasn't been easy. In fact it has been incredibly challenging. Not only did she have to repeat a year to catch up with her fellow students in her new class and learn Italian basics over the summer break, but she also faced some health challenges in 2017 that turned her world (and our world) totally upside down... something that was too private too share at the time and still feels very private... But she made it through, recovered and survived the aftermath and although she lost almost 200 hours of school last year, she passed. She stayed focused on her education in all the turmoil and I am so, so, SO proud to see her graduating with bonus points in her certificate. But its not the points that makes me so overly proud. It is the accomplishment. That she never gave up. She fought anxieties, stress, tears and fear and were so close to quit a number of times. And we supported her in any decision she would take along this journey. If she wanted to go back down, may so be it. But no, she continued and did this for herself. Against all odds she pushed through and finished on top of the world. She has just proved to herself that she has the capacity to do whatever she wants to do. That is the big win here today.

This last week, after all exams were completed and we found out that she will get her diploma, we have been searching for the perfect graduation dress. She knows what she wants my girl. It's been a bit of a challenge for me... We have had arguments about The dress: what style, budget, buy online or shop around locally... how important is this? Apparently VERY important. Graduating 11th grade in Switzerland is a BIG thing. I had no idea...

I'm not sure how many shops we've visited neither how many dresses she has tried on... I've taken big breaths more than once to not loose my patience... After hours of dress hunting we found what she was looking for. This is the one!

She loves it because it shows off her silhuette and the flowers look like they are painted in water colors. She loves it because it is classy and timeless and makes her feel Swedish. I love it too. And I can't believe my little baby girl has grown to become this beautiful young woman. It sound cheesy I know but Ooooh My, isn't she lovely in that dress?

Dress rehearsal is done... Friday the 6th of July is the big day. It appears that she will perform a piece on the piano on stage. And I'm gonna cry. Be so sure. How could I not? Every Mama would, right? Wouldn't you?


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Tuesday, June 26, 2018

The phone line kiss

I'm running errands and I'm running late for lunch at home. I call home from the car on the speaker phone when leaving the parking garage at the mall. Emmy Bo answers with her twittering voice filling the inside of the car. I explain that I'm on my way, she says:  
"Ok. See you soon Mama. I love you." and then she give me a kiss through the phone, a kiss that fills up the inside of the car where I sit, making me feel the most wonderful warmth in my soul. And I'm thinking:
"This is life. This is love. This is what matters. This is why I'm here on this earth. To get this phone line kiss from my 11-year girl." Such a simple action that fills me with the deepest and most true love. Motherhood at its best. Eleven is a great age. And once again, its the small things in life that matters... like a kiss on the speaker phone in the car. Remember that.


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