Just a few days until Christmas

He came home. My love. The work trip that was estimated to be 4 days in the USA, turned into a 12 day trip... Single Mum hat on and Christmas countdown can be quite exhausting, so I have hibernated a bit. Focused on what's important in life. Like fighting for an error made by the teacher on Luca Bo's latest French test, winning the battle and bumping him up a grade. Victory. Helping with studies for the big last push of tests, wrapping gifts to teachers, instructors and just people around us that we feel we want to wish Happy Holidays... And then of course chores, taxi service, dinner and shopping... same ol', same ol'...

I've gone back to Cross Fit after a 2 year break. My back has bothered me for a very long time. Lately I've asked myself if I should just accept the chronic pain and discomfort and the fact that I can't jump, run or do anything with the smallest impact on my spine... That the pain has forced me to stop being active in the way I want to be active (I can't run, I can't ride the bike, I can't go to aerobic or dance, I can't do too long walks...). I had an MRI done and found out I've got arthritis in 60% of my spine. I have to admit I was slightly shocked. Arthritis had never crossed my mind. Only old people has arthritis, right? ANd I'm not old... or am I maybe getting old? I guess the truth is that even though I'm 24 in my mind, my body is not. It has a few mileage, three pregnancies and lots of baby holding...  So after adjusting to the thought I've made a plan. I"m gonna build up strength around my spine and in my core and work on my flexibility... So I am back at my old Cross Fit gym, with humble steps I stepped in there the other day and  I'm chuffed by the welcome I got. Many of my old gym mates are still there and they were all so very happy to see me. There were high five's to right and left and hugs and cheek kisses. It feels really good. I'm motivated.

Part from all this, the days are rolling on. Christmas is just a few days away now and I'm making one last batch of saffron buns (recipe here and video here). All gifts are wrapped. My family is complete and we can breath out "School" and breath in "Vacation". I might just put on my PJ and keep it on for the next 4 days and just chillax and enjoy being with my loved ones. Maybe squeeze in a Winter Wonderland walk (it is so beautiful here with the snow) and some hot chocolates and lots of good Christmas food. Oh, and I almost forgot - did you see my latest finished crochet project? I LOVE  IT! It was such a fun and quick project, simple and soothing. I'll write down the pattern when I have time. I also need to come up with a name... Maybe Saffron shawl??? It will probably be in the new year.

Happy Christmas my lovelies. Thanks for hanging around and see you on the "other side".

Kärlek
Annette

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Collecting memories

The man sits next to his boy with tools, mechanics, oils and grease spread all over the table. They are on a mission to solve a mechanical problem.

The mother sits on the other side of the table eating a lunch sandwich, watching the two "boys" across the table. She is squinting a bit because of the sharp afternoon sun seeking its way through the kitchen window. The new fallen snow makes the sun shine even brighter than normal. She listens to their conversation:

"Well, we need to get that piece away from the side so we can reach down with the new pin, but to get that piece away we need a special tool. This one is not big enough...
"No, its to short."
" Yeah, it is too short... Hmmm... Maybe if we try and do this..."
"What Papa?"
"Well, if I get this screwdriver in here and push the piece away and you reach down with the pliers... and then you push..."
"Yea, I'm on it. Tell me when."

The two "boys" are super concentrated and driven to solve the problem now. The woman sees a memory being produced and reaches for her camera. These pictures will be some of those special ones. Not because of their beauty, composition or light but because of the moment that was captured. Every time she looks at these pictures she will re-live that moment with all of her senses remembering the light, the smell, the sound, the surrounding and most of all the feeling. And she hopes that one day a grown up boy will look at these pictures and say:
"Mama! I remember this! It is me and Papa!"
And the grown up boy will re-live that special moment he had with his Papa, doing mechanics in the kitchen that day when the big snow fell and he was only 13. It's a nice thought.

Kärlek
Annette

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Handmade to stay cozy & warm

Hello my lovelies. I'm popping in to let you know I have stocked up my Etsy Shop with some handmade goodies. There are some hats and wrist warmers, buntings and garlands and small crochet decorations. I ship Priority worldwide to a fixed price of 5 dollars per item until Christmas. Give something soft and snugly to keep someone cozy and warm this winter. Welcome to visit!

Kärlek
Annette

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Lucia 2017

It is the 13th of December and Lucia is here. Or not here in my house, Lucia is a tradition I never brought to my children... but I sat down to watch the yearly Lucia ceremony on SVT Play (Swedish TV that is), and couldn't help but sobbing away the full hour in pure sentiment...

Lucia is one of those profound traditions that cuts like a knife into my Swedish heart because it is so incredibly beautiful and so deeply anchored in my soul... From early age Swedish children are rocked into this wonderful tradition of bringing light to the dark with dress up, candles, poems and choirs. I mean which Swedish kid has NOT dressed up as a star boy, ginger cookie, little Santa, Lucia maid or Miss Lucia herself with the crown of candles in her hair? Who hasn't learned the sweet melodies, poems and lyrics that will forever be etched into our beings. Which Swedish child has not felt the excitement of taking part in a Lucia show on an early dark morning in December with parents coming to watch with proud grins from ear to ear?

Star boys, little Santas and Lucia maids.
Saffron buns and hot milk.
Butterflies in my tummy. 
Early morning.
Dark corridors.
Light in my hair.
Mum sits on a small stool and watches me. 

When one of the little Lucia maids steps forward to read her poem by heart (gently translated above), I'm painfully reminded about my roots, things I have sacrificed and left behind when I once moved abroad. My children who never attended a Lucia parade and who never will experience the same magic of this day as I do... and me wishing I had given it to them. Asking myself why I didn't work harder on keeping these traditions alive... So I shed a tear while listening to the stunning Stockholm Music Gymnasium Choir and the delicate biblical tunes streaming out of my TV. Dry them away and reminding myself that no matter how far away I move from my country or how many years that passes by without my traditions, they will forever remain fresh as a rose bud in my heart. Forever. And sacrifice or not, my children have other traditions that will forever be anchored in them. And so life goes on. No need for regrets.

Note: Photos from my home are my own, the Lucia ceremony pictures are screenshots from the Lucia show available on SVT Play. The show can be watch worldwide from today until 12th of January 2018.

Kärlek
Annette

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Swapping Christmas pressure for Christmas joy!

As always, the first of advent catches me by surprise. Although I know it is coming and I eagerly wait for it, I never manage to be prepared for its arrival. Never. Not this year either. However, this past week I have been super productive when it comes to Christmas preparations. I am about 90% done with all gifts and the only thing missing now is the Christmas tree. After the rather non inspiring start of missing out on first of advent I set a new goal - to prepare as much as possible as early as possible to make time for me to relax and enjoy the Christmas countdown instead of running around like a headless chicken every day up until Christmas day. I feel so good about this achievement. Especially the gift part. I'm so proud of myself. It was not easy, but I did it and this new way of taking on Christmas changes everything.

I have had time to start on a new table runner with my favorite of all times fabric My Folklore Dala Horse by Lecien... Oh how I wish I had bought at least a few yards of it... Santa, dear Santa - I wish for Christmas, pleeeaaase. (You think he will hear me...???)

I have been baking both ginger cookies and saffron buns and they are all eaten and gone. A reason to make some more.

I have taken snowy Winter Wonderland walks and watched the cats play in the snow, indulged in hot chocolates with Chantilly cream and tons of calories because it is soooo good.

I have wrapped all gifts, watched a few Christmas movies and discovered a new Christmas record favorite: Elvis Christmas with The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra!!! This Christmas album is so good. I mean, I am a big fan of Bublé - of course (who isn't???) but Elvis makes me dance from room to room and wiggle those hips like never before. Elvis just makes me happy.

As much as I love and adore everything about Christmas, I'm not much different than many others who experience this time of the year to be rather stressful. We always, ALWAYS (!!!) wish for it to be a relaxing time when we can enjoy baking, cooking, crafting, gifting, decorating, socializing, music listening and so much more. We want it to be perfect, but honestly... Does it really have to be perfect? And what is perfect anyway? So with that in mind I swapped "musts" to "wants" and "pressure" to "joy" and instead of having it all, me and the kids have chosen the things and traditions that really makes Christmas special in our house. And now we have P E R F E C T Christmas spirit in our home. Perfect for us.

I can't believe it took me so long to realize this... All the years that I have felt like I'm never going to make it all in time, be enough or able to meet everyone's needs and expectations...  it shows that everyone's needs and expectations are actually only my own... Yep, there you have it. It took some time to figure that out but life is a continuous journey of self discovery, growth and collecting wisdom. I kind of like getting older. :) Letting go... Just be. What a relief. And with that I sign off and wish you all a Happy Second Advent. No pressure. Stay Calm and Enjoy!

PS Forgot to tell you, but I did start on our Family Photo Wall over the sofa... I'm almost half way through, I add one picture at the time and who knows, maybe it will be complete just in time for Christmas. I'm loving the project and I feel so blessed when I see my family members all together up on the wall... So much love. I'm so lucky. (She says, and it might sound like an empty phrase but it is so true and she needs to remind herself how lucky she actually is...)

Kärlek
Annette

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