For a couple of days I slept and slept, moved around on low gear just doing the absolutely most necessary... I was mentally and physically exhausted. I turned off my phone and stopped watching the news. Started a puzzle with Emmy Bo. Listened to some documentaries and Swedish radio. Didn't talk to anyone. Didn't send a single text message. On Friday afternoon I felt better. I went outside in the garden and cut back my geraniums, poked around a little bit in the garden... Energy came back.
I think with all that is going on this is not a surprise. I think loosing my new job routine, my lovely colleagues and my "new life" as a working woman really hit me hard. I miss my awesome After School Care team. I miss the kids. I miss going to work and be a part of something outside my home. A different me in a different environment. My kids are sad that they have lost school, I'm no different. I now understand the depth of their sadness cause I feel it too.
I think I put the bar too high to make this forced isolation into something super productive when it actually is the perfect once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to just slow down for real. I started out on top gear, no wonder I crashed. And it is okay to feel blue. Maybe it is even a part of the process of adjusting to this new "normal".
I've made myself a new schedule, more open and free but still with the frame work and routines that I love so much. I am slowing down and allowing myself to have big gaps of doing nothing in the day, no pressure. I take a nap if I want to. I work when it suits me. I take daily walks but I don't over do it. We take one day at a time. I feel good now. The blues is fading and I feel strong again. How are you?
Kärlek
Annette
Annette
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This is new for us all, Annette, and there is much to get used to. When I think of all those doctors and nurses working round the clock in exhausting and dangerous conditions, it shakes me out of myself and makes me feel grateful. We are the privileged ones. We need to obey what the Swiss Confederation tells us: to remain at home and avoid spreading the virus.
ReplyDeleteSome people live totally alone and their only contact is through email or telephone. This is probably going to last for months. We need to be strong and set a good example. I have been in self isolation for two full weeks now and my food is delivered to me. My daughter included me in her Netflix family plan and I have my crochet! I am thankful. Your blues will soon pass when you see how lucky you really are.
Hi Sandra
DeleteYeah, I wonder for how ling this will go on... I think the uncertainty is a very hard part... Glad to hear you've found solutions for food delivers and a shared Netflix plan. It certainly helps to have a good series to escape to when in isolation. My tips are Outlander and Poldark. You instantly get drawn in and then you have many seasons to watch.
Take care Sandra.
Xxx
This is a very, very difficult time. I live in New York and Hubby and I need to take care of my elderly mothers too. Trust me it is more than scary. Take care of yourself. We are all in this together.
ReplyDeleteHi Cathie J
DeleteBig hugs to you and your husband. I hope your mothers are doing alright. Stay safe.
Xxx
Hi, it's hard for me too!!! This is our 4 week lockdown and with the online school activities and the uncertainty that surrounds us you feel like you don't have a chance... But there's blue up there and better days are coming!!!! Thanks
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your feeling better. It's hard to look out the window and see what looks like a normal world, but it isn't normal at all. I understand a tiny bit more as to how it feels in a war zone..to have your days feel upside down. Just as this virus thing was growing closer to where I live they decided to log beautiful trees next door to us. That is when I crashed and burned. I felt as vulnerable as those trees. I hope they weren't afraid, the trees. Anyway, life goes on. Every time I start to feel scared, I crochet a flower..I have piles of them. Will ultimately make a wall hanging to remember there is still lots of beautiful things out there in this foreign feeling world. Stay safe and hug those kids tight.
ReplyDeleteOh no! Not the trees! That hurt so much. My landlord cut down our Wisteria at the front of our house in January. Without telling. It was planted in 1957, big and beautiful. I came home one evening from work and saw it lying on the ground. I cried. Now the front of the house is all naked and empty. I love trees. Stay strong dear. We'll get through this.
DeleteXxx
I am so glad you are beginning to feel better. It is a huge and difficult adjustment and we have no similar past experience to draw from.I love your thought about a once in a lifetime moment to slow down for real. �� Thank you for sharing from your heart and putting into words what so many of us are feeling. Sending you love and best wishes. XX ��
ReplyDeleteIt was nice to read your blog again. I did miss it. I needed some chill time this evening and decided to see if you had written anything. What a nice surprise it was to see you have been writing again. I am sorry to hear about the stress of adjusting. I think those of us who are taking this serious will have a lot of adjusting. I would rather be awake and watching then have reality sneak up on me and hit me in the gut. My husband and I have slowed down to a crawl. We miss our kids and grandkids but we keep up with text and skype. We trust that the Lord will keep us during this difficult time. I pray the same for you.
ReplyDeleteAs a person who doesn’t go out all that much, staying at home isn’t much different from normal. In the past two and a half years, my mobility has been reduced too, so I have had to grapple with that and am still trying to get to grips with the fact that I don’t have freedom of movement I have had for the past 70-odd years and that’s without the restrictions of The Virus. Like others, I miss my daughter and granddaughters and their kisses and cuddles and I have had to cobble together 40th birthday things rather than do what I had intended because I will only see her out on the driveway, dropping off some groceries/picking up her cakes and cards. The fact that my older granddaughter, who is 8 and with whom I am close, is terribly upset because she can’t have cuddles with me, distresses me more than I can say. My husband is flighting against slowing down but I am taking advantage of the opportunity - he’s a few years younger than me and intrinsically much fitter, physically. He imbibes the news, which I just can’t. The daily briefing by our UK government is quite enough for me as a very quickly sink into anxiety and distress if exposed to too much of it.
ReplyDeleteI am following a Certificate in Handspinning and carrying on with my French lessons via Skype. I have lots and lots of creative things to do and am *never* at a loose end :) I love reading, including your Blog and totally understand what happened to you. Now you realise, too, take care of yourself and enjoy your beautiful surroundings. Axx
HI Anthea
DeleteGood to hear you got lots to do even if you are limited physically to move around. We all need to find our own way to stay busy and stimulated in these challenging times. Good luck with your French lessons and take your chance to escape into the lovely world of reading novels.
Xxx
I live in Bangalore, India, which is probably almost at the other end of the world from Switzerland but right now we are in a similar situation of lock down. It is not an ideal situation for sure but under the circumstances, we have no choice, for our health and the health of others. At this time I am grateful for many things, for my family who is together at this time, for my home which is large enough to accommodate us all, for being able to buy fresh vegetables, fruit and groceries without a problem, for the peace and quiet this lockdown has ensured, for the improved air quality without the pollution from vehicles.
ReplyDeleteI am sure we will all get through this. Let's stay home and stay safe!
My first week at home was last week when our country went into a kind of loose lock down. I was on my social media all day for the first couple of days and watching the news updates constantly and I like you was overwhelmed. My daughter sent me to the garden as I was so snappy! LOL My solution has been to stop watching the news. I have very little idea about what's happening at the minute, I check in every now and then to make sure there are no new rules I've missed, but other than that I'm avoiding it. I'm also trying not to spend so much time on facebook and instagram and when I am on there I am choosing carefully what I am looking at. I know it is only Wednesday, but so far this week has been a much better week. I have done some cleaning, some gardening, caught up with friends for coffee and a giggle (via Zoom), some crocheting, walked my dogs and watched movies with my daughter.
ReplyDeleteWe need to be kind to ourselves at the minute, this is new territory for us all and it will take a while to adjust. You are absolutely right though, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to just slow down, I have so many things I would like to get done round the house but now i'm off i've no motivation for it. LOL
Yes, this is truly a slow down in life for everyone! Even stay at home moms are slowed down. My teens’ school has not been giving out work to do because they have over 1/3 of their students from below poverty level or homeless. These kids can’t just print off a page of homework. Libraries are closed and it is expensive at the couple other places where they could have it done. So my teens help with making dinner, doing dishes & laundry, cleaning different rooms, learning some life skills. Take care and go easy on yourself. Relax & remember much of the world is slowing down too!
ReplyDeleteHI Laurel
DeleteSuddenly we get to peek into all layers of society in a way we haven't done before. It has not even struck my mind, as you explain, that some families can't print a school paper or might not even have a computer. Things that are taken for granted too often. Life skills are great to teach. I'm actually doing the same here at home. Now is the time for my teens to learn the washing machine, how to iron, mop a floor, clean a toilet. Things that they probably never done before cause I normally do it. We have to be creative and if the kids can't learn the academics we can at least teach them life skills. Well done.
Take care and stay safe.
Xxx
Eu moro no Brasil e, aqui não está diferente dai... Estou no meu decimo primeiro dia de quarentena! Procuro manter minha rotina diária e, tenho brincado muito na cozinha, descobrir novas ou transforma velhas receita esta me deixando distante do problemas lá fora! Adorei seu post, beijos!
ReplyDeleteObrigado! É reconfortante saber que você está cozinhando e se divertindo na sua cozinha enquanto eu faço o mesmo na minha aqui. Tome cuidado e fique em casa.
DeleteHi Annette,
ReplyDeleteI totally get why you're exhausted. We all want our routine. I have the feeling I'm constantly on standby, I sleep a lot and still feel tired. Luckily for me I work in healthcare so my job continues, but also with a very different routine. We have our clients around us all day, normally they would go to day care but they can't right now. We do the day care thing ourselves so we do crafts and puzzles and stuff like that. A whole new world.
I hope you're doing okay and your new schedule will help you more.
Have a lovely day.
sweet greetings,
Emily
Hi Emily
DeleteI think it is both good and bad still going to work. It is good to keep the routine going but can also bring on anxiety to have to go out there every day. I admire all of you in the health industry and many other professions that keeps society running. Suddenly we see how important the postman is, the lady at the grocery store, the cleaning crew at the hospital etc etc. You are all our heroes today. Keep up the good work, be proud and stay safe.
Xxx
I'm glad you are feeling better. It is such a difficult time most everywhere and it is NEW...I don't think most of us have anything similar in our lives to use as a guide.
ReplyDeleteMy experience has been much like yours. I live in the US and saw this start in other places. We have a little cabin in the woods an hour from the city, and I decided if things got bad near us (I still couldn't really believe this virus would be EVERYwhere) I would move out there for a bit. About 2-1/2 weeks ago, I did just that. Me and our two dogs. My husband stayed in the city - he is a surgeon at our university hospital and would still need to work every day. My first week I was so busy! Full of energy, plans, working to clean, organize, cook and bake healthy foods. I was video chatting with friends and family, and my sweet grandbaby. I walked through the woods with the dogs and planned my garden. I had crochet plans, puzzles and paints at the ready! Week Two I barely got out of my pajamas, watched too much TV, and ate all the snacks. I just felt blue. It was awful, but I think it was normal, really. We rev ourselves up to take action and take control, and then realize there is SO much beyond our control!
Week Three started with that new understanding for me, and it sounds like for you, too, as for so many others. This is hard, and uncertainty makes us wonder if our lives will ever go back to "normal". We miss our routines and we miss our people! My new plan is to just get through this with my physical and mental health intact. I've started cooking and baking again, but sharing it by making fun little care packages to drop at friends' doors. I chat with friends and family and see they are having the same ups and downs, but we are together in this, even while we are separated. Not every day is going to be productive but I have to allow myself what I need to get through that day. We will each fi n.v d that, and it may be different every day! I read something recently that said we should try to keep a few important routines going. If you normally have a glass of wine with friends on Thursday night, for instance, do that via Zoom (or other). If Saturday is always laundry day at your house, stick with it. We will come out of this, and I think we will enjoy those visits with friends, those nights out, more than we ever have!
I hope you are your family stay healthy. Thank you for sharing with us all! Be well!
Hi Leslie
DeleteIt was so comforting to read your message. This is exactly how I felt. Starting off the challenge with a sprint, and that we all know never works when it is a marathon that needs to be accomplished. You crash and burn before even hitting the first kilometer... So, I learned my lesson and am now going at a steady speed. One step at a time.
I like your advice of sticking with your routines form the "normal" days before Covid19. I might quote you a bit in a future post.
Take care my lovely. We can do this.
Xxx