Thursday, March 12, 2020

I fear but I have hope





I wake up at 3 am with a heavy headache. I go downstairs and take some medication, go back to bed but can not for my world fall back asleep. The headache eases but I'm not feeling great. Rather anxious. I go downstairs and decide to distract myself with organizing some paperwork in my office. It does it magic. I'm distracted and after a couple of hours of sorting and filing I feel much better. Tidying and organizing is my go to when I feel out of control, anxious, nervous, worried...It is something soothing in putting things in place I guess.

At 5 am I text my friend Maria to cancel our Shiatsu appointment in the morning. My head starts to spin again with all the worries; need to do our tax declaration, find out about Nelly Bo's driving lessons, call about the Swedish tax declaration, help Luca with applications for apprenticeship starting next school year,  finish the technical end of a clients website and what if I'm not just coming down with a cold? What if it is the virus with the big C? And what if me and Jay get sick at the same time? Who will take care of the kids? And what if our landlord Mme Debonneville gets it and dies because she is 94 years old? The worry is real.

The international school I work for closed down Monday. A teacher was found poorly and tested positive for the Corona virus. At first the school announced to close down for just one day for a big sanitation of the school, but 24 hours later the principal and his management group decided to close down the school for two weeks to be on the safe side. The Swiss authorities did not encourage that decision, they actually said there was no need to close down or even do a deep clean and sanitation of the school. No, not at all. Just continue as normal, "Pas de problème."! Pas de problème???!!!

When you watch the Swiss news or read the latest news online, the top news read something in style with "Car on fire on auto route" or "Vandalism of train station", news about the Corona virus worldwide crises can be found when scrolling down the page somewhere in the sidebars... No wonder Swiss authorities says "
Pas de problème!" when they so successfully stick their heads in the sand for the biggest worldwide crises in years if not decades. It shocks me.

Maybe it isn't so weird that I wake up at 3am and can't go back to sleep. With all this shit (pardon my language) going on in this world right now (so many conflicts, tragedies, political angst, economic fall... ) it would be weird if I didn't wake up at 3am with my head spinning of worries and anxiety, right? 


The kids go to school and I go back to bed. I sleep. Deep. Until 11am. I'm ok. My family is ok. That is all that matters. I go back to the computer, finish that website for my client and the sun comes out. A little bit of hope for the future shines in through my dirty windows. It is much needed. I shut down my work space, make myself a coffee and go outside to finish my patchwork crochet blanket, warmed by the sun and with spring happy cats as company. Something good is going to come out of all this trouble we are going through, I believe. I have hope. Everything is gonna be alright... everything is gonna be alright... 

PS Sending you all lots of extra love and comfort hugs as this is needed today. Next time I'll share my blanket progress, something pretty and colorful to cheer up our souls. Lots of love. Xxx



Kärlek
Annette


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14 comments :

  1. I don't respond to anyone usually but it felt as though you needed a hug or ten. Your fears will be those shared by so many.
    Take care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! A hug or ten is bouncing right back to you.
      Xxx

      Delete
  2. Yes! We will all be alright. One good thing though, I'm very impressed with how everyone is cleaning and sanitizing everything. Maybe this will be a permanent trend in our world. P.S. your photos didn't come through...? Would have loved to see a little piece of your world again. I really enjoy seeing what other parts of our world look like. Take care and hugs right back at you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Reloaded all the photos, hope it works now. Thanks for popping and stay safe.
      Xxx

      Delete
  3. Ah, pas de problème! Here, people and governments are panicking like it is the end of the world. Universities have all classes online, stay home, stores are limiting how much sanitizer people can buy! Oh my! We are living as normal in our home, although I ask the teens to wash their hands more often! Kärlek, Laurel

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  4. If you get sick, you probably will be at different times so one of you will care for the other if needed. If you are both ill at the same time your children are old enough to care for one another (and you). However, many people have very few symptoms and are not that unwell. I have just read about a couple - one into his nineties and his eighty something wife, who had other illnesses too, who got better. Also someone over a hundred who came through okay.

    We are not all bound to get ill, or then be seriously ill with this disease. I think also if you are not in a big city travelling on busy transport that is also helpful.

    The newspapers are not very helpful with their panic inducing headlines and unhelpful scenarios. Most things we worry about don't happen. You are prepared and life goes on, as it will continue to do so with all it's niggles and concerns in the normal way of things. I am busy enough so my hands get washed in soap all the time. My daughter has been reminded to wash her hands regularly. We don't have sanitiser the shops have none but anyway, we are told soap and water is best. So, it is what it is :) Life is worrisome enough already.

    You will all be OK I am pretty sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you fro sending some comfort over to my end of the world. I remain calm and hope for the best that this will be over soon. Much love to you. Stay well.
      Xxx

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  5. big hugs for you and guess what ? here's one who 's been cleaning her house yesterday and keeping busy, plain tired after that. today 'll be yarn and fibres !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Big hugs to you too and well done! You so deserve some hooky time! Bless!
      Xxx

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  6. Sending love and hugs to you too Annette. I hope you all stay well. We are all worried, I'm concerned about what I will face at work tomorrow ( big teaching hospital) but this storm will pass xxx

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  7. in Romania schools are closed and the country is in state of emergy. We are staiyng home, cleaning and sanitizing everything :)) and praiyng.May the Lord guard us and and protect us all!

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  8. Bon courage Annette ! On se serre les coudes de manière virtuelle... Pas encore de confinement annoncé au Canada, mais on n'en est pas loin. Couture, ménage, semis intérieurs, piano, tri/élagage, lecture et des exercices tous les jours en suivant des capsules vidéos...;) En plus d'un temps de marche au dehors. Dans mon secteur, nous sommes encore les deux pieds dans la neige pour quelques semaines... ;-)
    "Hugs and kisses",comme on dit en anglais. :)

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  9. Loved your post. At least we are all in this worry together and that makes us stronger. Looking forward to seeing your new blanket. Extra hugs!

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  10. Big hugs. This is a time in wich a lot of us are worrying. Take all the necessary precausions for yourself and your family.

    Dear greetings, Margaret

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Thank you so much for visiting my world. I love reading your comments and I do my utterly best to respond to questions and sweet messages. Thank you again for popping by.

Kärlek
Annette

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