Thirteen

This girl of mine. My little one. The last one of the three greatest gifts to my life. She came to us with demands, determination, stubbornness and confidence. With cuteness, laughter, a love for play, creativity, goofing around and with an endless source of imagination. She dares to go against the stream, dares to be different, follows her own path and her own ideas. She's a Peter Pan in a female body: full of adventures and with no desire to ever grow up. If she could, I think she would stay a child forever.

Thirteen. A time of exploration, searching and finding your place in this weird world we live in. To fit in. Or not fit in. One leg in childhood, one leg in young adulthood. Not always rainbows, unicorns, gumdrops and magic fairy dust like it used to be. More of a roller coaster of emotions that can be exhausting, confusing, exciting and scary. All at the same time. For her. And for me.

Yes, I worry, and I feel pain just like she does, and I selfishly want her to stay little forever... she is the last one and I'm really not ready for her to grow into a young adult... not just yet. I don't think  anyone is ready for their kids to grow up and become adults. But I know I have to accept that it is happening, right before my eyes. So I give her space, room to cut loose and try her wings, find her tribe, her way... It is so so hard... So so beautiful. So so painful... so so rewarding...

 At night when I kiss her goodnight she says:
"I love you!"
And I say:
" I love you too."
Then she says:
" I love you more..."
And I know she has won this game we play every night when I say:
" Well, I love you to the moon and back..."
She laughs out loud with that special twinkle in her eye and says:
"But I love you to infinity and beyond!" 
And so we laugh together and feel the love in between us. To infinity and beyond. And I know she'll find her way, that I can do this. And she will do just fine and she will always be my littlest girl, no one can ever change that. Not even years passing by. Happy Birthday my Emmy Bo.

PS Cake is a homemade Swedish princess cake. Make a sponge for three layers. Put vanilla custard and raspberry jam on each layer including raspberry jam on top, cover with thick layer of hard whipped cream. Cover with thin layer of rolled out marzipan. Cut off waste around and tuck edges in. Eat chilled. :)

Kärlek
Annette

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