We came home, two days earlier than planned. It is great to be in the mountains. Being outside skiing every day. Going to the pool. Watch movies every night. Popcorn. Ice cream. Wine. Snacks. But after 5 days or so something happened...
Luca Bo turned into a a bundle of anger and frustration. Arguing about everything and nothing. Grumpy guts, we said... The whole world seemed to be against him. He couldn’t stand his sisters, his Mama or his Papa. Everything was just wrong. The girls got provocative. It is fun to make the only brother mad and angry. Right? Mama and Papa called for peace. Non stop. Their voices getting louder and louder and more and more aggrevated. But the war between the kids went on.
We got mad, angry and frustrated. “These kids are never happy. It doesn’t matter what we do. They just whine and complain about EVERYTHING... We are like full time entertainers for these kids...” As a parent you feel... helpless, miserable and like a failure. “What did I do wrong?” you ask yourself, between hearing your own voice in high pitch and with a nagging (terrible!!!) tone. Thank God no one is recording our household at these times...
Luca Bo got headaches, terrible strong headaches. He didn’t want to go skiing anymore. Today he fell apart during the preparation for skiing. The tears were all over the place. The girls and Jay left skiing. I stayed. Holding Luca Bo tight, letting him sob it all out.
We talked. It was a good talk. He was sad. Tired. Exhausted. He felt pressured to go skiing because that is what we do when in the Alps. He missed his Lego Ninjago. He wanted to go home... He thought that a few days of skiing is good but not a week. He said “I wish I could have one week for myself. I want to be on my own for a while”. I thought to myself that we all need some alone time. Some space.
Luca Bo rested until his headache was gone. I packed up. We took a long walk to get some fresh air and talked more. I realized that this kid needs more of me. More quality time. He thinks I am on the computer to much. To busy with my “business”... He wants to play Uno. That says something, right?
We went home this afternoon. We came home around dinner time. Luca Bo ran upstairs in his room to play with his Lego Ninjago. Nelly Bo sat down by the piano to play her favorite tunes. I quickly emptied bags and took care of the laundry. Jay started on dinner with his shoes on. Emmy Bo? Well, she hugged and cuddled Charlie the cat, and filled up his food bowls with fresh food. We lit the Christmas tree and the stars in the windows. We have agreed to leave them up for one more week, because we missed our Christmas tree and decorations. Vacation is good but home is better. Home sweet home it is. And I have some stuff to think about after this day with Luca Bo... Less computer time and more Uno games has to be written down on my New Years Resolution list for 2013.... Maybe you need to write that down too...
Kärlek
Annette
PS Sorry about the picture in my last post... I wrote it on my new iPad (took forever...) and I couldn't figure out how to add a photo to my post. Will try to add it now when I am home with my sweet big stationary Apple friend. :D
PS 2 A Summery of 2012 is updated with pictures and dozen links... Enjoy.
I am glad your son could tell you what was bothering him...and that you listened!!
ReplyDeleteListening is often hard... We are always so busy. We must stop and tune in. Listen. Really listen...
DeleteHugs to both of you.
Annette ♥♥♥
Happy New Year, Annette!!! Kisses!!
ReplyDeleteBesos! Felize ano nuevo, or how do you say it? :D
DeleteAnnette ♥♥♥
I am glad you are home, safe and sound so everyone can get a bit of time to themselves. You are a wonderful, wonderful Mother, taking the time to really listen to your kids and do what is best for them. It isn't easy being a parent, I think it gets harder as they get older, but you are certainly on the right track because conversations, listening and hearing what they have to say is so important.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you and Happy New Year,
Meredith
Awwww....poor Luca! I'm glad he's getting sorted out at home now. I agree with him - too much vacation is too much! *did I just say that? *lol!* ) And I LOVE playing Uno! You are a lucky mamma!
ReplyDelete(PS - I have 4 kiddos myself - including a set of twins! I feel your pain ;-) )
It's good that you recognised that little fly in the ointment before it got too much out of hand..well sorted Annette. Keeping communication paths open is the most time consuming as the kids grow up...and the most rewarding.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely honest post...
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to you and your family.
D J
I take that as a fantastic compliment. Thank you!
DeleteAnnette ♥♥♥
Don't feel alone, we have all had "those moments" with children when we feel like we are living in a war zone! I had several while raising my 3 children (all grown up now), and am currently trying to survive the second round with grandchildren #1 and 2 (currently 15 and 14 years old). I sympathize with you!!
ReplyDeletePoor Lucas! I hope he gets over it, if you give him some time to spend with you.
ReplyDeletewe all should put more time with our kids.I have 3 grown up kids,I always wish i could take time back (when my kids where youngester)I talk to them more .sorry for my poor english.I hope you understand me.your kids are the most important priority to you,have a good year,the best ever.xoxoooo,zohreh
ReplyDeleteWhat a clever boy you have, able to explain what was wrong, you see you did a great job with that boy....and your other kids :)
ReplyDeleteHappy new year to you and your family
Är inte detta det vanligaste som mamma? Att känna sig otillräcklig för alla, gör jag rätt, mår vi bra av det här osv? Du är absolut inte ensam!
ReplyDeleteMin son öppnade ögonen för mig när vår lilla var ett halvår. Hon sov inte en hel natt på 8mån. På en timme sov hon ca 45 min uppdelat i 4-5 små snuttar. Kan säga att vi var inte den piggaste familjen på gatan. Och då höjdes oavsiktligt kraven på sonen, som då var 10. En kväll bröt han ihop fullständigt! Han tyckte vi alltid var arga, han fick alltid skulden osv (även om det inte var så) och mitt hjärta brast!
Tillfälligt var han då extra mycket hos sin pappa för att få var ifred mer. Han kom till oss efter skolan och cyklade sen vidare! Vi lärde oss absolut att PRATA MER med varandra.
Det får man nu påminna honom om när tonårstjurigheten lätt sätter in i onödan. Men det "bråket" glömmer jag aldrig. Jag grät den natten så det skvalade.
Alla dumma saker svetsar oftast i slutänden ihop familjen. Varje mamma är den bästa för sina barn och INGEN kan säga att någon av oss gör fel!
Se tillbaka på dina inlägg, jag tycker du verkar en omsorgsfull mamma som tar del i deras liv och delar med dig av ditt!
Ha en bra dag och en härlig helg!
(det blev på svenska för orden flödar bättre då!)
Hej Nenne
DeleteSvenska eller engelska... Det spelar ingen roll. Du har så rätt i att allt du säger. Vi gör vårt bästa. Jag tror att vår generation mammor är superrädda att göra "fel". Istället förbandlas vi lätt till curlingföräldrar... Jag gör mitt bästa för att undvika den fällan måßte jag erkänna. Ramar måste finnas. Barn måste lära sig att vara självst¨nadiga och att livet inte alltid är rättvist. Kommunikation är nog a och o i alla relationer men kan också vara det svåraste.
Jag känner med dig den där kvällen när allt brast. Men han pratade i all fall till slut. Vilken lättnad. HOppas att ni med lätt tonårsanpassad kommunikationsteknik rider igenom era stormar lättare idag. :D
Tack för ala fina ord Nenne. De värmer verkligen.
Kram
Annette