Sunday, June 7, 2015

The after math

Things are going back to normal. The man is back at work. The girls are going to school. The teenager is breaking loose more and more for each day that passes by. The little girl is still a corn ball. The boy is recovering and getting restless. We have dinners, catch up on house chores, pay bills, fill up the fridge with fresh food. I caught up with the laundry pile. All papers are filled in that should be filled in. We sleep. We get up in the mornings. We have breakfast. The sun is shining and things are going back to normal... Or?

So why do I feel like a weeping queen? Why do I cry at least half a dozen times a day? Why am I overwhelmed by all the "stuff" at home, all the "stuff" that is always there? Has always been there! Why do I lack energy to do the smallest thing and why do I just feel frustrated, blue, small and tired... And why do I feel guilty of feeling all these things?

They say that there is something called post trauma reaction. That even though everything goes back to normal, including squabbles and all, we still need to recover mentally and physically after a trauma. And it doesn't happen over night. So, what I've been told is to just let it all be what it is. And let the feelings come and go, rest and recover. But it is so hard when life just continues like normal. With birthday parties and days at the pool, running out of milk and needing to make dinner... Invites to dinners and the annual street party... I'm just not there yet...

Things are going back to normal. I know it is. It is just taking some longer time than I thought. A couple of good nights sleep has not been enough. And I know now that I need to be nice to myself and say that it is okay to take a nap if I want to. It is ok to cry if the last tea bag was taken by someone else. I can always make myself a coffee instead.


Kärlek
Annette


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14 comments :

  1. Big cyber HUGS to you. Be kind to yourself dear one. Your body and mind have to clear out the stressy stuff and if it's through tears so be it. It will pass. More BIG HUGS xx

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  2. So sorry you're feeling this way, it's perfectly natural, you've had a huge scare. In time you will get through it, but it must be so very difficult in the meantime. Be kind to yourself and take it as easy as you can. And try not to fret about the stuff. As you say, it has always been there. In time it will stop bothering you I'm sure. Sending you a cyber hug. CJ xx

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  3. I hear you my craft sister, sometimes it feels like we are on a treadmill, today my effort is homework for a 12 year old.

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  4. Dear Annette, I am glad you understand what is happening to you. I am so sorry to hear that your precious boy was so badly injured. However the liver is a magical organ and can actually grow and repair itself......and your son appears to be on the road to recovery, that is indeed good news.
    As a parent, a mother you have probably always put your immediate emotions aside to deal with the drama that may occur and now as you say your mind and body are trying to catch up and process your feelings when it is safer to do so. I think too your son has been through so much in his life, you are prepared for the facial surgeries but it is so unfair that he now has suffered another injury, one that you were not prepared for. I too have a son with other needs so I know how I coped when he was diagnosed with another illness, it was almost too much to bear! If you find that you cannot manage to feel better by yourself, please don't hesitate to get some extra help from talking to a professional. You probably don't realise how much you have put aside for such a long time with your son and now is the time you may need a shoulder to lean on. Good luck and I hope you do feel stronger soon.

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  5. My friend be easy on yourself. You had the hugest trauma with what your son suffered, you held it together for him and now it is time to let it out. I had cancer 15 years ago. I was so focused on my recovery that the whole time I had treatments I was tough and together. But when they were over I completely fell apart, I cried all the time and could barely get out of bed. It is what we women do. We do what needs to be done for our families and then when it is over it is finally our time to feel the stress. Take deep breaths, take a walk outside and know that everything you are feeling is completely normal.
    Sending you a hug,
    Meredith

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  6. When you run on auto pilot to take care of a precious loved one it is bound to catch up with you once life goes back to normal. Don't be hard on yourself. Xx

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  7. I'm sorry to read you're on this emotional roller coaster. Perhaps after being in warrior mum mode, the adrenaline has worn off and now you are experiencing the emotional side of it. Take care of yourself. You got great advice there.

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  8. yes do some healing things and give yourself some time. It's been a trauma! Don't beat yourself up, the important things are looked after. X

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  9. This is generally a post trauma depression. We get used to so much of sadness and fatigue and then expect ourselves to start normally instantly. I have gone through it. The smallest task would look like a big work. Some people can transition easily from this phase but some need help. You may refer to a therapist or else try meditation. It helps. There is another breathing exercise called pranayama in Yoga which helps the brain calm down. Ultimately, it is the brain that controls everything. Most important, delegate some of your work to family members even if that requires for you to become a bit selfish.

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  10. You are strong and you will get through this. You have already made a big step by being able to articulate what you are feeling. Be kind to yourself but also make sure your family know when it gets too much. Sometimes being Wife and Mum puts pressure on us to be the ones in control of our feelings. It's OK to cry. Love and best wishes to you all.

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  11. Big hug! Is there someone who could help with daily chores? Take a nap each day too. Go to bed early. Take care. Regula

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  12. Yes, I would be exactly the same! It's the emotional damage that takes it's toll doesn't it? Somehow you can shrug these things off when you are younger, but now it's not so easy. Or is it being a parent that does that to you? I don't know. But it will heal too, it make take a little longer, but you will get back to normal again too. I agree, give yourself time and let yourself cry if you need to, it's part of the process. Thinking of you lovely.

    S xx

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  13. Gosh you had a massive shock to deal with and I guess now things are ' back to normal ' you're still trying to process what happened and it's kinda caught up with you X Don't feel guilty about naps etc it's just your body telling you what you need. I'm so glad you're beautiful boy is on the mend X

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Thank you so much for visiting my world. I love reading your comments and I do my utterly best to respond to questions and sweet messages. Thank you again for popping by.

Kärlek
Annette

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