I choose SLOW...

One of my favorite SLOW picture collages from last year.

With age I have discovered that I am very stress sensitive. When I think back on the days where I could travel alone across the Atlantic with 2 hyper kids under 5 and a third on its way including flight delays in the middle of the night,  a number of backpacks, a stroller and hours hanging out in Economy class strapped in I just wonder: "How on earth did I do that?"

In my 20's I always wrote in my job applications that I had a high stress level... Today I would write "Stress level below low..." or maybe I wouldn't even mention stress level at all... But that is just now that I have discovered this and accepted it.

For years I've been stubborn to believe I still got it. That I still can juggle like that girl on the Circus who has a half dozen plates spinning on sticks without dropping them. It is just that my plates don't really stay on the sticks anymore. They are falling to the ground one after another... I have had a lot of porcelain pieces around lately. You get it right?

So I choose SLOW.

I leave 10 minutes earlier for appointments (because I am always rushing around like a headless chicken being 10 minutes to late normally...).

I have stopped writing To Do lists. They don't make me efficient, they actually have the total opposite effect. I' am slowly learning something from my Papa and my husband. They never write lists. My Papa is a very relaxed person and very efficient too. Just like Jay. I asked my Papa how he does it and he said :
- You know, I tell myself 3 things that I need to do during a day. Then I know I can accomplish my mission. If I have time left over I might add another thing to my list but most of the time I am telling myself "Well done. Now you can play. " Doesn't that just sound like a great way of life?
 I am practicing. Slowly getting there... I am choosing SLOW.


I will sit down for a tee and a magazine read, because I deserve it and I can do it.

I will lay down on a quilt under my plum tree, staring at the clouds and listening to my kids playing on the swings in the apple tree, because I am allowed.

I am thinking about introducing a day of doing nothing every week. To recharge.

I will go to bed earlier as I have noticed that just 2 late nights in a row instantly pushed me over the edge to a grumpy, stressed out, snappy person. Sleep is the key without doubt. Long gone are those days when I was jacked up on newborn baby hormones and could sleep in intervals of 40 minutes at the time 24/7...

I will take my time. Stop. Observe. Breath. Look. Smell. Be present. Enjoy.

I don't have to run. I choose SLOW. Even here in blog land. As you may have noticed. Blogging is not my profession. It is a hobby and it will stay a hobby. I love being here but I don't need to hang out here all the time. There are so many other things I would like to do. So I will see you around. Like friends do. Sometimes very often, sometimes less frequent. Because I choose SLOW. 

SLOWLY also leads somewhere. "Långsamt leder också någonstans... " Lisa Nilsson, Swedish fantastic singer. I really wanted to share this song with you as it kind of sums up how life sometimes can feel when we live in high speed life style. Click on the image to listen to this beautiful song about how she after a burn out choose to live SLOW. I have done a translation of the lyrics below:

I have come to move slowly. It has its different reasons.
My legs don't feel light anymore. The desire is not there.

I have come to stop trying. The feeling is full of trouble.
My stomach sort of twists up. The flow is not there.

But slowly also leads somewhere...

I've been so caught up in patterns. When one step forward costs three steps back.
There, to wake up on the wrong side. It's not an unusual thing.

And I have come to be hunted by the time. And go at a pace that is not mine.
My days are now much much longer. There we differ widely before and now...

But slowly also leads somewhere...

And I want to scream all over the world. I can breathe all by myself.
And I can fly around the Milky Way. And take down the moon if you want.
But I want to be at peace within myself.

But slowly also leads somewhere...

Kärlek
Annette

PS This post has surprised me. I did not plan this at all. It just sort of happened once my fingers started the keyboard dance. It has a therapeutic effect on me. It feels good. Does that ever happen to you?