Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Shit!

I killed a bird. It said bump under my rear left tire on my way to work this morning. I could see the poor bird waving his wing in his last sigh of life in my rear mirror. I killed him. Or her. What if she was a mother hunting for food for her baby chicks in a nest somewhere? Maybe I killed a whole bunch of baby chicks. It makes me feel terrible. I almost turned around but the bird was ran over by many more cars after mine... It came flying from nowhere. I am so sorry...

I was yelled at by a client today. He called me a lying bitch, cursed and screamed so loud that I couldn't even hear what he said. And I thought to myself: "What am I doing here? What right does this person have to yell at me when he doesn't even know who I am?" It made me feel terrible as I am just the sweetest person at work. Always overly nice and helpful. If you are nice to me that is... Beware, I am not a door mat... I have a hidden tiger inside...

And this showed later when I had a verbal loud blow up with one of my coaches in front of the whole office. Things have been really tense and bad since so many was laid off in January and there is just so much you can take... And once again I wondered "What am I doing here?". I don't regret a single word I said. I do regret I didn't say more.

So SHIT! I am allowed to say so. Today is not a very great day so far. The good thing is that the sun is shining. The apple trees are blooming and I have received a new Lantliv magazine in the mail. I think I'll go outside to my bench and sit down and wait for my kids to come home from school to cheer me up. Especially little Emmy Bo. It is her birthday today. But still... I killed a bird this morning... Maybe a whole bird family... That still makes me terribly sad... Have you ever killed a bird?

Addition to post 14/5/2013 16.42: Wow! I would never have guessed so many of you have killed birds and other wonderful creatures while driving. Group hug.! This really cheered me up actually. Thanks. :D

Kärlek
Annette
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33 comments :

  1. Oh Annette! Not a good day for you. Yes, I've killed birds, two cats and a deer!! I feel awful, terrible and cry my eyes out. One cat just run out at me and I couldn't do anything apart from stop the car and run to it to try and help it. It was too late but I managed to find the owner, a dear sweet old lady who was more concerned about me shaking than what I had done to the cat.

    You are right, what gives these people the right to shout at you when they don't know you and how would they like it if you shouted back?

    Take it on the chin, look forward to your children coming home to tell you how fantastic and amazing you are. Because you really are!!

    Tomorrow's another day.

    Chel xx

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  2. Hi Annette, never killed a bird but saw too many dying. I'm the kind of person that wants to save every little ones that don't have the chance do survive or to rest peacefully the last minutes of life. Some are brought by my cats and some I think is destiny choosing me. First time I comment here, love your work and always visit when there's news. Regards from Portugal ;o)

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  3. I did, the same bird vs. car situation, and felt terrible. Soon after we made a bird house in the garden, at least something to give back.
    What more to say, animals are often better characters than people, and the world is just not fair sometimes.
    Have a great B-Day with your little E., since kids are the only right people where investment makes sense.
    Veronika

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  4. Oh I'm so sorry about it Annette. But I'm sure it wasn't something intentional. Don't feel sad. Spend some time with your kids, they are the best distraction from all the sorrow in life. Please cheer up and get your hook and yarn in hand. You'll forget everything.

    One tight hug from me. Did it feel better?? I know it did. :-)
    Luv,
    Ranjitha

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  5. I've never killed a bird.
    But i once killed a baby mouse :-(

    I hope you will be able to enjoy the rest of this day.
    Congratulations to your little one and forget about the
    nasty things that happened today.

    And i hope that client will stay inside the next time you will
    drive to work ;-)

    x

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  6. I get so upset whenever we hit a bird or any animal like that. They are a wonderful part of the Lord's Creation and don't hurt anyone! I am sorry you had such a rotten day. When I worked many years ago for my aunt and uncle in their McDonald's, I was spoken to on a regular basis in the manner you have described in the post. As I tell my children, just be glad you're not the one speaking like that to someone.
    Hope tomorrow is much better for you.

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  7. Annette~Please do not feel bad for hitting the bird...I hit a squirrel once..not on purpose but by accident..made me want to vomit but it ran so fast under the wheels of my car I had no choice..it was an accident..nothing I could of done to prevent it but still made me sick for most of the day...Iknow exactly how u r feeling and I am so sorry...people that yell at you or make you feel bad will reap what they sow..be happy! don't let any other human being bring you down..its so not worth it~take care! and by the way I LOVEyour blog and you!! Carol

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  8. Sounds like a terrible day, even when it's Emmy Bo's birthday :-)
    Yes, I killed a bird, a kind of duck, I did hear a plop and thought ooooooh myyyyyy I did kill a bird. It is years ago now but I still feel sad about that. And I also have experience with yelling people on the phone. I allways stay calm but I also make clear that he has to respect people in order to get respect from me.
    Hopefully your kids will cheer you up, those treasures are the most important! x Syl

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  9. No I haven´t. I can only say "shit happens". Hope you'll have a nicer evening!

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  10. I'm sorry you're having such a bad day.
    Yes, I've killed a bird too. It was a mourning dove standing in the middle of the road with its spouse. The husband or wife bird got away. I felt terribly guilty.
    I once ran over a raccoon too and felt so awful. I still do, and that was 20 years ago!

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  11. Oh no, what a rubbish today. My hubby ran over a rabbit once and because it was moving when he looked in the mirror he stopped and went back. He thought it would be kindest to 'put it out of it's misery' and he said the sound it made has always stayed with him. Poor rabbit. Poor hubby!

    Don't worry, at least tomorrow can't fail to be better!

    S x

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  12. Oh Annette, I feel for you! one thing after another. You must be kind and loving to yourself! That's it day over. Good things will come too. Heather x

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  13. That's rotten - at least the bird would have died quickly. Sending hugs from the UK x Jane

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  14. Oh poor Annette, big hug, what a horrid day you've had, and on your daughter's Birthday! Some days are just like that, everything goes wrong. It's so sad when you inadvertently run over a little creature, I'm afraid I've done it a few times too driving round the lanes, they come from nowhere and theres nothing you can do. It really upsets me, and I also get upset seeing any bird or creature dead in the road.
    I hope tomorrow is better for you, and I hope Emmy Bo has a lovely Birthday today - just try and enjoy that now and forget the rest!
    Gill xx

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  15. Oh dear, I hate days like this, when you've done something that hurts someone/thing when you didn't mean too. When someone's hurt/abused you when it's not justified. Sit in the sun, read your mag and enjoy the moment, don't let the day spoil that! :) x

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  16. A few birds, and a big dog, on a rural road one night :-(
    Tomorrow cab only get better. Hope the magazine cheered you up.

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  17. Men gud så tråkigt med lilla pippi :(

    Läste i Leva & Bo om dig och din blogg! Vilken tur!! Full av inspiration och färg är din blogg! Vilken duktig skapare du är! Respekt! :)

    Och dukningen som du visar är precis som beskrivs i tidningen - udda tallrikar ;) Fint! Och smarrigt! :)

    Jag återkommer gärna hit! Övar min engelska ;)

    kram/Olg@

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  18. I am so sad for you. But accidents just happen. Not your fault. You have no way of knowing what kind of bird it was or it's circumstances, so try not to beat yourself up about it. Lets pretend it was an elderly spinster birdie with no known relatives.

    I'm sorry, people have been awful at work. I'm so pleased you stood up for yourself. I am a very responsive person and yes if people are abusive I would respond to that too. I hope you were able to put aside your horrible day and enjoy happy birthday times with your lovely daughter.

    Have a better day tomorrow xx

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  19. What a crappy start of the day. I guess the upside to all of these crappy things getting piled on you in one day is that, maybe just maybe your good for the rest of the month. One can only hope and lets remember another thing, karma is a b**** so those people who gave you crap today should really watch out.

    Hope you had a wonderful time this afternoon with the birthday girl and the other kids :)

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  20. Honey you are not alone... I have innocently killed many a poor animal while driving! At one point my kids started yelling to squirrels when they would see them to look out! I hit two in one week! They just ran out under my car! :(
    Hope your days get better! :)

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  21. Oh no, I know that once you see your kids it will put your day into perspective. I willed a squirrel once, it broke my heart but it ran right in front of me and I didn't have time to stop. This happens, as much as we love animals it happens, be easy on yourself.
    Meredith

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  22. Well, I had similar thoughts of "what if this was a Mommy?" When I trapped a rodent yesterday morning! We had set a trap in the garage and I came upon the beast...nearly dead. My first reaction was "gotcha!". And then the little voice on my soul started asking questions! What if there are babies waiting someplace for this Mommy/Daddy to return...what will become of them? Oh dear! Why do we have to be creatures with a brain and feelings of empathy? And as to the so and so who was mean to you...I have SO had those exact same feelings! I'm a nice individual...why are you being mean? I don't deserve your treatment! Kinda makes you want to cry! I'm so sorry someone was like that toward you! That sucks!!! Door mat...nope, me either...but it takes a lot of button pushing for the tiger to surface...and when it does...run fast...run very fast! Hugs from one Annette to another! I love that someone else has my name! Have never known another! Hope tomorrow is a better day for you!

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  23. Head up and don't worry. Tomorrow it will be better.
    Hug ;o) Elena

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  24. I hope the rest of your week will be better. Your blog cheers me up all the time. I'm sorry that I don't comment as often as I should. Belated happy birthday to Emmy Bo :-)

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  25. Yes, and a cat or two and I even hit a kangaroo but thank goodness he got up and bounded away.. phew that's a mighty big roadkill. But what's done is done... good you stuck up for yourself... now just have a cup of tea and read your magazine and let it all flow over you... tomorrow is another day :)

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  26. Hope you feel much better today... I always scream when my husband is 'almost hitting a dog/cat/bird!!!!!!!!' which makes him shout at me that 'he sees it all!!!!!!', but still I do it every time I think we're about to hit an animal just in case this time he didn't see it coming...

    Clients (or in general people) at work can really get at your nervs, right? hope your kids managed to cheer you up!!

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  27. Yes, it smashed right in to or windscreen, I felt sick with guilt. Then one night on a country rd we ran over someones pet cat, she ran straight into the car, it was the worst feeling. I think so of us many have been there.
    As for that guy, sounds like he needs a glass (sorry bucket) of ice cold water over his far too hot head, just think what fun that would've been, I always wish I had the guts to do something like that, terrible eh!!!!!!
    Enjoy your lovely family & chin up
    Karen x

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  28. **passes wine** We all have days like that, they suck.
    Take care! Esther.

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  29. I did try to comment earlier but I don't know where it went. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry you had such a bad day. I have killed a few birds, a couple of cats and I have even hit a kangaroo, but thankfully he got up and hopped away, because they make for really large road kill... hope tomorrow is better for you.

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  30. Hi Annette,
    I live in Brazil (south of Brazil), very far away from you. Sometimes I also have hard and difficult days, with some shit happenings, and in this days I felt exactly like you. I´m also a sweet person (actually very sweet), kind and helpful, and when I have these bad days (they are not often, thanks God!) I don’t understand why those kind of situation happen to me, or how I could be in situations so ugly.

    When I read your text today, I realized that It happens to everybody, isn’t it? In these bad days I generally fell so tired and frustrated, and when you wrote “the good thing is that the sun is shining”, I felt the same as you (!): the sun shining makes me feel better (or the sky so beautiful and blue, or the wind blowing on my face), and it makes me see that everything is still good and beautiful, but sometimes we go thought some bad situations... Even your day wans't good, your words helped me to find some support. Thanks! Love, Claudia.

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  31. i am sorry to hear about your terrible day.. i hope that today had gone better for you. i did kill a bird once with my car it made me cry, i hated knowing that i killed a living creature..

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  32. Oh we all have days like that...I killed a suicidal squirrel when I was learning to drive...It left me scared for quite some time... (hugs)

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Thank you so much for visiting my world. I love reading your comments and I do my utterly best to respond to questions and sweet messages. Thank you again for popping by.

Kärlek
Annette

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