I killed a bird. It said bump under my rear left tire on my way to work this morning. I could see the poor bird waving his wing in his last sigh of life in my rear mirror. I killed him. Or her. What if she was a mother hunting for food for her baby chicks in a nest somewhere? Maybe I killed a whole bunch of baby chicks. It makes me feel terrible. I almost turned around but the bird was ran over by many more cars after mine... It came flying from nowhere. I am so sorry...
I was yelled at by a client today. He called me a lying bitch, cursed and screamed so loud that I couldn't even hear what he said. And I thought to myself: "What am I doing here? What right does this person have to yell at me when he doesn't even know who I am?" It made me feel terrible as I am just the sweetest person at work. Always overly nice and helpful. If you are nice to me that is... Beware, I am not a door mat... I have a hidden tiger inside...
And this showed later when I had a verbal loud blow up with one of my coaches in front of the whole office. Things have been really tense and bad since so many was laid off in January and there is just so much you can take... And once again I wondered "What am I doing here?". I don't regret a single word I said. I do regret I didn't say more.
So SHIT! I am allowed to say so. Today is not a very great day so far. The good thing is that the sun is shining. The apple trees are blooming and I have received a new Lantliv magazine in the mail. I think I'll go outside to my bench and sit down and wait for my kids to come home from school to cheer me up. Especially little Emmy Bo. It is her birthday today. But still... I killed a bird this morning... Maybe a whole bird family... That still makes me terribly sad... Have you ever killed a bird?
Addition to post 14/5/2013 16.42: Wow! I would never have guessed so many of you have killed birds and other wonderful creatures while driving. Group hug.! This really cheered me up actually. Thanks. :D