Friday, November 23, 2018

Alone time on my bench

I stole a moment on my bench, before the November cold came. Sitting there helps me to take a real time out. A pause. It's a moment of just being me, doing what I want. No distraction, only nature. And cats. They wander around my legs, tip toe under the bench, climb the tree, lay down under the table...

I most often make it cozy. It's a procedure I enjoy: dragging out blankets and pillows, a table cloth in summer, some flowers, a cup of coffee or tea, a project of some kind. It can be crochet, a book, a deck of cards, a note pad to draft ideas and plans in...

I bring my phone and listen to Swedish radio, or an entertaining podcast. Or I sit in silence, observing birds, hearing cars in a far distance, seeing airplanes drawing white fluffy lines in the sky, saying hi to the neighbor when he walks up to his bee hives...

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love hanging out with myself. How much I need to be in my own company. Alone. Maybe it has to do with the new phase in my life, the one where kids are growing up and time for me is becoming more accessible? People talk about how important it is to reconnect with their spouse at this time in life. I feel an incredibly strong need to reconnect with myself.

I am not a social butterfly, I don't need endless with activities and stimulation to stay content. Actually I've always been more of a loner. I can be nice, chatty and somewhat hilarious to hang out with at times. I tell stories, curse and laugh out loud in good company. I can probably be mistaken for being a very outgoing person, but the larger part of me loves to be solely me.

My bench represents a free zone, a place where I can withdraw to when I need some space. If I could I would spend days on my bench, on my own... For some reason I feel guilty saying that. Like I am letting someone down. Afraid of hurting someones feelings. But just because I am in great need of some alone time, that doesn't mean I don't want to hang around my little ones and my partner in crime or that I don't want to hang out with friends and engage in long conversations.It doesn't mean I love my family and friends less. I just simply miss being alone. I miss me. Myself. I. It's totally normal, isn't it? Say it is...

Sitting on my bench on a sunny afternoon in November in solitude is a real treat to me. "Embrace it", I tell myself. "It's good to be friends with yourself. It's a gift. Embrace it." And so I do. I sit on my bench and hang out with myself. I'm having a great time. 

Kärlek
Annette


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13 comments :

  1. Being able to spend time alone (and enjoy it) is indeed a gift as there are times when we will all be alone regardless of whether we choose or not to be that way. I call it being 'alone with myself'. I have always enjoyed time this way. It means we are not dependant on others for our well being and can be happy and confident and feel safe in our time alone with ourselves. It is the difference between being alone and being lonely. I am never lonely yet often alone. Yet I really do enjoy the company of people too.

    I have met people who can not stand to be alone, it causes them anguish and that feels sad. I had to train myself as a little girl to enjoy it as I was someone then who wanted to be with others as much as possible but had a lot of alone time to fill and I learnt how, until it became a pleasure. I am so grateful for that now. And appreciate that I get to have me time, to just be. With me, myself and I.

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  2. I feel the same. It is fun and good to hang out with friends & family. But recharging on my own is very important! I too feel it more as I age.

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  3. As I get older I need more and more time to myself although I rarely get it. Cherish every moment, it is time to regroup and just being with yourself is a gift.

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  4. Solitude is a luxury isn't it, something I really relish as well. Your bench looks utterly blissful. I honestly loved this post, it was so calm and relaxing. You really captured what you were saying and put it beautifully into words. I hope you have a lovely weekend, with a little alone time in there somewhere. CJ xx

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  5. I was going to say all that the other commentators said. Like CJ wrote, I too think that you put your feelings so well into words it was a delight to read and easy to follow. And I can underline everything that Anonymous said. She has put it into words much better than I can. I am 70 now and my 4 children are long grown-up and lead their own busy lives so naturally I have much more alone-time.I do not have many commitments anymore so I can do as I please every day. I am so glad that I do not mind not having so much stress and love every minute of my days alone and with my partner. I too had to practice it as a child and am very thankful for this capacity.

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  6. Your words sounded like me. Bubbly, enthusiastic a little loud maybe but really I like just being me. Thanks for your calming words. Jo x

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  7. It's great to spend some time alone. It feels good. Just enyoy it!

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  8. Alone time is my favorite time. No one to distract from the quiet so that I can just be is what I long for a lot. Without that I feel depleted. I understand.

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  9. I love nothing better than being by myself. I can spend all the time in the world in my own company and be happy not to see another soul. I love nothing better than spending a day at home, by myself, pottering, listening to music, doing this and that in my own little world. I'm really not a person who 'needs' people, and I have to try hard to remind myself that I do need to try and make an effort to socialise a bit. I'm just not a social person. If you see a group of people in a room.......look all the way to the corner right at the back and there i'll be! I've reached an age though where I'm happy with how I am. I no longer feel awful that I don't fit in or my shyness comes across as aloof. I am who I am and I'm happy. I always felt like I needed to apologise for it, but maybe it's an age thing that I don't feel that way anymore. The funny thing is, that once you get past the shyness barrier with me......I'm alright to be social with! ha ha! I guess that's why blogging was always good for me. It was being social bypassing the shyness, but still having the security of the internet cloak to hide behind. xxx

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  10. What a lovely post and it so encapsulates how I feel myself. My need for solitude has increased with age, perhaps it's inbuilt, to help cope with empty nest syndrome. I do enjoy going out and meeting friends, but I have to force myself these days, as I'd rather be at home with some crochet or a good book.

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  11. Yep, sounds about perfect to me! I definitely need time alone and peace and quiet too. I can also inventory a whole lot with CocoRose’s comment. I’ve always been quite shy too, and although I’ve found ways to cope with that over the years, and I love spending time with special people, social events are not really my thing. Even when I really enjoy them there is still a great pleasure in creeping back to my own little space and enjoying some solitude again!

    S x

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  12. A quite time alone makes me relax, with nice view!Thanks for this.

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  13. Yes it is totally normal, this post could have been written by me, as it mirrors exactly my thoughts and feelings. I am always happy to spend time with others, but equally happy and content in my own company. enjoy those little moments you so deserve. x

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Thank you so much for visiting my world. I love reading your comments and I do my utterly best to respond to questions and sweet messages. Thank you again for popping by.

Kärlek
Annette

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