Life is fragile...

I got up at 6.30 am like normal. Took a shower and got dressed like normal. I woke up the kids at 7.00 am, like normal. Prepared school snacks, signed papers and agendas for school, packed my lunch and my crochet bag for work. Like normal. We all sat down and had breakfast at 7.30 am. Cereal of many different kinds as everyone has their own favorite. We are lucky that we can afford to choose. Mine is Special K with red fruit. Like normal.

The oldest took off for the school bus at 8.00 am and the rest of us brushed teeth and put on winter overalls, hats and gloves for school. It is all white and pretty outside from the new snow that came last night. Luca walked to school, Emmy and I drove over there in our little practical Fiat Punto and I dropped her off a few minutes before the school bell rang. In time for a change, as I always tend to be a couple of minutes late. It felt good. I had my favorite flower dress on with black cable stockings, my favorite black cuddly boots. I forgot to put mascara on this morning, but it is okay. I look okay for work even without it. I waved off my dear little Emmy who happily skipped into school on her own. Like normal. Everything is like normal.

I get back in the car to take off for work. Like normal. A friend calls on my cellphone. I pull over to have  a quick chat and a laugh. We haven't spoken in a while and she gave me a tip of an advert of some kind. That is so sweat.

I pull out in traffic and the road is covered with the new snow. Probably about 5 inches. I love new fluffy snow. But the plow man has not been out yet so I have to drive more slowly than I normally do. But it is okay. There is no rush to get into work this morning. In a curve my car lets go a little bit and I slow down even more. The snow keeps on tumbling down. Big fluffy flakes. Beautiful. I am happy. The morning has been calm and nice. My husband Jay is coming home tonight after working in Gstaad for the weekend.  It is all good. Our village get smaller in the rear view mirror as I leave it behind me on the small road through fields and forests. I know these roads with my eyes closed. I've driven here so many times. It is all routine. Everyday routine. Like normal.

I concentrate hard as I enter a part where one S-curve is followed by another. Slowing down even more. Suddenly a big black BMW X3 shows up in the corner of my upcoming left curve. He looses control over his vehicle and the back of his car slides out in my lane. There is nothing to do but to hold on to the wheel, close my eyes and wait for the big bang...

Silence... I can only here myself screaming... For a second I think that the car will roll over but it stops. I here myself sobbing. I can't think straight. There is smoke coming out from behind the air bags. It smells of burnt plastic. I have to get out. I can't get out! The door is stuck. I crawl out through the passenger door. Grabbing my hand bag. It gets stuck around the gear stick and I am desperately trying to get it off - succeeding and tumbling out in the snow.

I walk away from the car and fall down in tears at the side of the road. A gentleman comes up to see how I am. "Ca va Madame? Ca va?" I think I am fine. I am trying to feel. I think I am okay. I can't see any blood. My neck hurts. My back. But no I think I am fine.

I reach out for my phone to call Jay but he doesn't have any reception in the kitchen where he works. I am crying and trying to find someone else to call. But the freaking touch screen only makes my phone book list roll under my fingers. Stupid new technology!!! How I wish I had a normal phone with buttons on. The man helps me with my phone. He forces me to look at him and tells me I know him. I suddenly see him through my tears and it is my dentist... I am relieved. And chocked. I cry on his shoulder like a 5-year old. He helps me to phone a friend but it takes a while. I don't know who to call. I have no family around. And Jay is at least 2 hours away. Eventually we get hold of a neighbor who comes out within 5 minutes to help me. The police has already arrived.

The man in the other car is okay. He is calm and settled. He is concerned about my condition. He apologizes deeply. I am the only one being hysterical and in chock. My car looks like a smashed beer can. The wheel lying horizontal to the ground. The front all wrinkled up. There are pieces of plastic all over the place. I think "Thank God I didn't have the kids in the car!".

Time goes by, we go to the police station to fill out forms. My friend brings me to the Emergency room. Jay is on his way home from Gstaad. I spend the next 4 hours in hospital being examined, having x-rays and being propped up with neck support supplies. Nothing major. Rest and anti-inflammatory drugs for the rest of the week and I should be fine.

All day I cry on and off. Of fear of what could have happened if things would have been different. Of relief that I am fine. I survived. Of the enlightenment that life is not to be taken for granted. Every second counts. It has been close to disasters so many times before in life and every time I have gone "Phew, that was close", but this time it wasn't a 10th of second that saved me. This time the timing said it would happen. And it did. Full on.

I am hugging my kids a little bit extra, I am holding my husbands hand in mine.  I look at my house and think that it is a great place to be, with all its flaws and imperfections, messy but warm appearence. Life is perfect like it is. It is now that matters. Who knows what happens from one second to another? Life is fragile. I am taking time out for a little bit dear friends. Take care of every moment you have.

Kärlek
Annette